i dont want to be a gay-sha

im way too lazy to write anything a.t.m - and big brother adults only is on. i will just let these pictures speak for themselves.

"i want a life that is mine..."


and then there are these costumes which were forced upon us when we were invited to go to tom gant's 21st birthday party...possibly the weirdest night slash birthday i been to... (nautical theme)

mmm...

"im afraid i seemed to have shot my wadd, and what was meant to have been and dry run and now it seems i've got quite the mess on my hands..."

"oh, there are so many poor choices of words in that sentence"

live from ballarat

okay... chaos... library... im at ballarat uni and everyone is going spazz... bessie is a mess. everyone else is just crazy. just managed to download "icy tower" and play a few games..

in the past 2 days i have been in 5 different houses and met about 30 people... its crazy!!

anyways, more posts to come and even a picture...

bessie will say a few words...

"okay, where to start... umm.. the internet is for losers with no life and pale skin... unless you from africa. but i dont think they have computers in africa. thats all i have to say."

now its charle's turn...

"yeh yeh yeh, look, um, time flies... and some have to deal with that. thank you very much"

told you they were messes.

oh, its not easy being you...

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY BESSIE!!!
LOVE BEN

NOW GET OVER YOURSELF.

we got a winner

hey everyone. now, please, try and not get jealous from this awesome prize!!!

YES, I WON SEASON 2 OF ALL SAINTS. FREAK OUT!

caitlin, please be happy for me. i know you are fuming that i have this instead of you.

my day in pictures

okay. finally some decent blog material. going to pick up stevens car in the middle of effing nowhere.

its about 2pm and the bus should be arriving in approx. 5 mins. it didnt. we waited.


after finally getting on the bus and having to put up with about 20 mins of some dickhead popping his gum in my ear drum (seriously, if i was tough enough i would've jumped over the seat and smashed his stupid fucking face in... ARGHHHHH the pain) anyways it was time to jump off the bus in the middle of nowhere. (laverton). not having an effing clue as to where we are meant to be going, i decided we should stop somewhere to ask for directions.

shell=no good.

after no help from no one we decide to go this way and walk down a rather emo road to nothing.

that was no good so we changed directions thinking it must be the other way. to be sure of this decision steven decided to call them and just check.

it was infact the other way.

after crossing the round-o-bout-o-death, stepping in shit, and taking stupid pictures of myself, we finally reached another bus stop to get us over the freakin' freeway that we had to cross.

6 minutes of waiting and 1 minute on the bus we were there! and yes, that is stevens car!

so, we got in and drove home, ditching the stupid "whereisdotcom" directions and instead, opting for my rather fantastic (considering i dont drive) memory. home in no time! now, excuse me as i go vacuum the house. meh.

coz i said i would

HEY HANA!!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BLOGGED!

game on moles!

tomorrow i am gonna give the place a "hoover" and then take some pics... day off!! sleep in!!!

p.s- to the woman who started an argument with me at the video store - i hate you and you're a cheap bitch.

p.p.s- to the guy telling me to stand my ground re: above bitch - you are cool and i like you!

talking tv

well, im sitting here listening to "american beauty" soundtrack and its getting me all down thinking about how good that movie was... then i got thinking about "six feet under" and how good it is... so, then... i thought about all the TV shows that i just couldnt live without.

• six feet under
• lost
• 24
• west wing (early seasons)
• sopranos
• carnivale
• apprentice
• survivor
• amazing race
• nip/tuck

yeh... thats all i could really think of... but feel free to add any shows that i have forgotten to the list. oh, now emo E.T is playing. there are some good movies out there. spielberg really is great.

so, like, right at this v. moment i am meant to be graduating from my silly tafe course im sitting her blogging as people are msg'ing (leila) & calling (lisa) telling me to go. nah thanks. i'll sit here and blog and watch lost. come on, priorities.

today i bought my tickets for x-men 3: the last stand. sooooo cant wait. im still excited from the j.j injection i had with m:i-3! ummm just a random hi to any noosa people that still might be interested in my life. maybe you are all at the villa or something? who knows! go for a walk to tea tree beach or something...

ummmm.... nothing funny really happening... OH, BIG BROTHER... im really quite hooked on. i wish david (hot gay model) & michael (hot straight could-be model) would hook up. and, apparently, im not the only one. a recent poll on the net says people are dying for them to take their oddly charged r'ship to the next level.

now its schindlers list theme. geeeze. talk about emo movie memories... SHIZEN!

self destruct style

just recently ben went to watch mission impossible 3 @ hoyts melbourne central. and, okay... not many of you like mr cruise. but, look past the man and see this movie. it seriously was quite sweet. and i never say sweet. but dude, it was totally awesome. seth cohen style.

as you all know im quite heavily influenced by any type of media, so, at the end of watching this film i was running around the mall with my hand gun looking something like this...


it was really fun. so, coming soon will be mission impossible 4 - mock style. look out for it.

in other news i went to the snowboard show meet&greet and there were some interesting people. one of the producer ladies or some shit is the brains behind australia's largest speed dating organisation - which to me, sounds like a totally ideal place for her to be working really. other peoples normal jobs included high-rise window cleaner, really gay looking straight guy... yeh, i really wasnt paying that much attention. i was still in mission impossible 3 mode!

p.s- sarah is givin me the shits

stupid fucking neighbours

anyways, about 9:30 tonight my stupid neighbour who has a dog locked in there fucking court-yard and has domestics came over to tell us to be quiet. arghhhhh. she's a dumb shit. we were watching tv and talking. so, if she ever says anything we will dob her into the rspca quick-stix!

this isnt the first time she has said anything to us. apparently she is a teacher and has to be up @ 5am... poor fucking bitch.

this is our home

ok... all housemates are in! locked in. confirmed. done. sign, sealed and delivered. good. ok.

so... today was an AWESOME exercise in patience really.

- woke up late. had bizarre dream i was running along a beach amazing race style to the finish line with hot blonde girl picking cicada shells off my body as i try to collect dollar bills from the ocean. it was bizarre.

then it was off to centrelink with sarah. 11:30 am arrive. 1:30 depart. 3 hours of nutters. encounters include weird russian woman biting a peice of cotton lint of some thai womans shoulder. that was also bizarre. anyways, i couldnt handle it so i left to go to the library as sarah sat reading her book waiting for her appointment. i got some money and hired out an exercise DVD from the library...

results may vary... although, abs dot com has this to say about abs...

● Admired World Wide.
● No Other Body Part Makes an Impact Like Excellent Abs.
● Astounds Others Because They Are So Rare.
● Displays the Bodies Overall Condition.
● Symbol of Excellence.
● Center of Strength and Power.
● Develops Better Posture.
● Strengthens and Supports Lower Back.
● Increased Physical Abilities, Sports, and Athletics.
● Improves Internal Organs, Digestion and Break Down of Foods.
● Increases Sexual Performance.
● Voted #1 Sexiest Body Part.

i mean, i seriously have to agree. bold equals strongest selling points.

ummm what else... first meeting tomorrow of that snowboarding show i am going to be working on... channel 31. look out. hopefully there will be some exciting characters there that i can blog about.

so, tomorrow equals M:I-3 & city times. leila's party photo's to come soon! and new house pics as well...

untitled late post

mmm ok... well, honestly im a little upset. my last post... rather, sarahs post has caused quite the uproar among my 6 loyal guests... it was the most response i have ever had. mmm. the green eyed monster certainly popped up...

recently i have watched a few movies, all of which were all quite good... YAYthumbsucker, good night, and goodluck & my day with drew... oh, and the family stone... and, oh, it was sooo bad i forgot about it - fun with dick and jane

the last one was suprisingly good in which some douche-bag attempts to get a date with drew barrymore in 30 days and $1100 cash. i was a little sceptical of this one at first, but the guy in the movie is this incredibly hairy nerd who is really quite sweet. and his innocent motive is really appealing. even the grinch (li-kim) liked this one!!! anyways... it was really cool watching this nobody guy going all the way and working up the chain to get to her. and in the end my heart was totally pounding wondering if he was going to get his date with the girl he has had a crush on for his whole life. definately one to watch... its really quite sweet.

thumbsucker was really nice. it was emo and just cool. the guy in it was a good actor. ummm yeh, i cant really say much about this one, they had some really cool shots and the camera work was really organic and fluid. keanu was cool, tilda swinton and detective goran from tv all gave top notch performances.

family stone & dick and jane - meh... okay. stone had a pretty emo dinner scene. i didnt like it as much as sarah k did, she cried. dick and jane was baddddd. i dont think i even laughed. this coming from the guy who liked scary movie 4 and date movie. yikes!

goodnight, and goodluck. was good. all black and white style and political and didnt really understand it because my stupid neighbours tap on the fucking wall everytime i sneeze it seems. so, i couldnt have i the volume up very loud so i had to rely on subtitles to keep me informed. it was cool and made me want to start up smoking. if only i lived in a dogs vision world. good performances all round and it was cool to see mr. clooney doing this. sooooo not danny ocean

dinner tonight at my uncles, which was steam-boat style. which is raw foods and stuff all in bowls and then u boil them in a pot of water that is on the table. basically im talking about this because someone mentioned to me that they thought i lost weight. i was very happy. so, maybe my "diet" is working. YAY.leila's 21st birthday tomorrow and the first 21st i have ever been to. im a little nervous because i have never been to one before and dont know what to buy and what to wear. yikes. if only i had some dosh. so, hopefully there will be whatsthatmovie photo exclusives!!! stay tuned.

Ben Is a fucking Idiot as Well

Here is an illustration of some REAL stupidity-

Ben, until recently, thought that all women had two periods a month. He was somehow under the impression that this blood letting was the result of having to pass a chicken sized egg! After I explained to him that this was not the case, he asked (very seriously mind you) if the egg was larger, like an Emu perhaps, and whether the absence of "laying" was a result of the female bodies natural acids.

Um... yeah, Chris Lee mishap, not sounding so stupid now is it?

This was only moments before, during the exercise regime of the “New Ben” he stored his Ipod (which for all you mechanical novices out there, has a rather strong light on the side) down his underpants. So as he gyrated around the house “exercising” his balls were flashing.

If ever I met a boy who belongs in Babylon, it is Ben…

late night debate

sarah (housemate) and i recently got into a rather heated whisper arguement in which she thought count dooku & saruman himself was in "good night, and good luck" ... she is so stupid. right now she is telling me to put her calamari in the microwave in the voice of darth varder. after arguing and arguing and finally settling on a fair bet arangement we decided some investigating was in order.

anyways, so the deal was that if i was if one of us was wrong, we'd have to buy breakfast foccicia's for 1 week. i knew i was right so there was no problem. this is who she thought was the same person. fucking idiot.

and after going to IMDB to confirm the answer... she thought i doctored the fucking website to not show christopher lee's name..... anyways, after i called her a dumb shit several times and pushed her over a vacuum cleaner she changed her mind and agreed to the original bargain of buying breakfast for the next (5 day working) week!

NEVER MESS WITH THE NAME DROPPER.

you're hired!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!

well, while the sarah K is annoying the shit out of me with her "im not getting out of bed today" antics and steven is still away it is time to mention a little lass over in NYC that is celebrating her birthday with noooo family... that is unless she meets the BIG MAN on campus as seen here in the slightly rough but accurate picture i did on photoshop - please note the care taken in the detail of this picture. hope you're having fun budddy!!!! trump style!

forever young...

ok... guilty... i have started the 2nd season of OC almost straight away and i am loving it. the biggest bombshell was that caleb nicol had another daughter was like, just fitting in and totally about to make out with ryan!!! didnt see that one coming. yikes. anyways, its continuing to make me laugh and have the occasional cry as pretty much every episode i end up saying.... "fuuuuck... it's soo hard being them" and to which sarah replies, "SHUT UP. IT'S NOT!"

p.s- i just want to clear up some rumors that might be spreading. it is NOT true that as i was vomiting after my night i drinking i wasn't singing the OC theme song...

"californiaaaaaaa-blurgh... here we coooooo-blurgh-meeeeee!!!" NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE. NOT TRUE.

oh, good dream last night. i dreamt that i was best buddies with nicole richie, who then turned into being the girl with the pearl earring! (aka scarlett) it was one of the more emo dreams i've had in recent times. ask me to tell you about it in person.

meanwhile, the logies were on last night and also the death of "i'm richard carleton" now, i never really watched 60 mins religiously but it was pretty emo that he died. he had a good voice and yeh, i dunno. died on the job covering that mine disaster. ouch!

ohh.h.... DATE MOVIE. yes! i watched it. it was soooooooo funny. just ask ben. highlights include a black midget teaching willow from buffy how to dance... and then saying... "im gonna tear that shit up" !!! another hilarous scene that made me have a fit of weezing for about 5 minutes was the completely pointless kill bill parody scene that managed to incorporate dodgeball. oh man. fun times. heres a few pics to show you the genius that was the wedding planner, meet the parents, kill bill, hitch, my best friends wedding, wedding crashers, notting hill, dodgeball, my big fat greek wedding, king kong, napoleon dynamite, pretty woman, guess who('s coming to dinner), star wars, mr & mrs smith and many many more... DATE MOVIE!!!

video sl-ezy

ARGHHH... ok, now its time to bitch about work and stupid customers that complain.

i have come to the conclusion that they aren't actually angry with my service, but they have problems at home. here's an example.

super busy night. this woman is like, "next" in the queue and she yells out "do you even have a system" anyways... basically i said yeh, you are meant to wait over there... and she jumps forward and throws the dvd on the counter and says whatever and walks out of the store.

"oh, im sorry... is your husband leaving you for another woman??"

i didnt actually say that, but it's my way of dealing with fuckwits who decide to take shit out on me because they are having trouble in the sack.

another time... this slightly gay guy who i thought was quite nice and polite came up to me with 2 new releases. "that's $9.90 thanks" so he gladly hands over the money and i give him 10 cents change and close the transaction. he takes two steps away from the counter and returns with... "oh, i can get another one cant i?" ummm... "well, there is the 3for1o $$ special."
"so, then i can get another one?" "nah, i've already done the transaction." then, i get this thrown at my face with the gayest, queeniest & bitchiest tone, like he was going to have a cry... "oh, well, thanks for telling me..." as he turns away and walks off...

"READ THE FUCKING SIGNS" i yelled as soon as he left the store and it was empty!

ARGHHHH... these people. am i meant to teach and fucking hold there hands to be able to pick 3 fucking films. GRRRR

then, there are the people who have the WORST taste in movies i cant even look them in the eye. you know the type i mean, they hire american pie - band camp, national lampoon's adam&eve and any other straight to video bullshit.

but, to all of my favorite customers, you know who you are... you are the ones who's p/w's i know and names i remember... you are all cool. and, you should be greatful that i almost always delete your late fee's.

never. drinking. again.

when i look at these pictures it makes me shiver just thinking of last nights antics.

anyways, that is josh & lindsay. they are both trouble as they pushed me into a large cardboard box and injured my finger. look.

sarah, sarah & sarah

ok... well, first of all sorry i havent updated in like, 1 week guys... geeze! gimme an effing break. the "new ben" doesnt blog as much these days. just as the "new ben" doesnt do alot of things lately. yes, this so called "new ben" has taken over the "old ben" infact, NB is just great.

NB started last post when the OB was inspired by biggest loser results and in an effort to look like hotties such as usher, jude law & and... mmm seth, from OC - decided to change his live... VERY SLOWLY. anyways, basically i have started the "most gayest, pissiest and lame workout i've ever seen" (likim chuah) but, i think it is kinda cool... i have started just to eat healthier. now, this doesnt mean eat LESS - but, no chips, chocolate, soft drink.. and yeh, all that bad food. i have also devised a routine to keep me in shape, or even make me have abs like terry from survivor!

workout song highlights include:

black hawk down soundtrack - chants and guns and shit
because we can - moulin rouge soundtrack
car wash - missy elliot & christina (that actually was kinda funny)

ummm, and, other mentions should go to

sash - adelante ... im not too sure if u all remember that song? but if u ever hear it, ask me to do an imitation workout for you. i might put a pic up soon to show my "get up"

SARAH 1 - sarah chu

ah chu is alive and well, she is off to the carribean soon and i am so jealous. her typhoid fever has completely recovered and she has left the monkeys she loved so v. much.

SARAH 2 - sarah lorens

again, im jealous of another sarah and her travel adventures- shes in NYC and saw the trump tower... man! her bday is soon and she will be in NY for it... which is pretty coolio.

SARAH 3 - sarah kanake

yes, finally she moved down from that hilly nightmare of a city known as brisbane to the tram network capital of melbourne. she loves. still, sarah & stevens furniture have yet to arrive so sarah and i have been sleeping in the same bed. she snores. i get angry coz shes "all up in my grill" but, nah, the house looks good, basically its like dawsons bedroom but all over an entire house. the movie posters are up and the dvd collection is looking AWESOME!

NEW DVD OBSESSION

well, i did start to watch 2nd season of OC which has some promising story-lines consisting of hottie marissa becoming an L word. seth is always good too. summer should just get back with him.

but, its all about NIP/TUCK a.t.m

its sooo like, graphic in the surgeory scenes even i felt a little violated jeff. but, its getting good with lots of crazy people wanting to change their bodies and get stupid things done... oh, it makes me sad. there was one ep. at the end an overweight girl who had like, an entire wall of her house with marie claire, cleo and cosmo models cut out and stuck as she blew her brains all over the wall. it was real messed up.

mmm MOVIES i have watched.

ummm V for Vendetta!

man, remember the 5th of november for dogs sake. anyways, it was cool and hugo and natalie, well, wow... what can i say. the blowing up of the big ben and parliment at the end was totally coolio, along side the knife action at the end of the movie.

well, i think thats about it for today... my back is a little sore from laying on the floor writing this. soon there should be some pics and some video stor-ies about stupid customers...

eg. customer hiring wedding crashers, longest yard & 40 yr. old virgin all at once. he was a jerk. but, at least he was going to be in for a quality night of highly intellectual humor.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH