star struck!

YES! winner of POPSTARS of 2002 - scott cain!!! so, im walking down the main street in kensington and who should i walk past, yes, your old pal...

apparently his career isnt over, he hosts or hosted a cartoon show on disney, and toured with hottie hilary duff!!! mmm

pictures!

ok, well... we now have shelving area. it's amazing. you can actually make toast in our kitchen without being shoved into the bathroom corner... i really dont need to say anything... these pictures really tell the whole story...

i was probably the best ever at assembling it. i was all like, wham wham.

i was loving it. it was so dum.

sarah really lost it... she's a wreck.

after steven had a quick estimate of how much room there was in the kitchen, it was time to transport the bitch and re-arrange everything to look all happy and cool and shit.

but then chao's struck! when i was putting the final touches into our lovely unit, the ikea gods thought i needed more torture. (as if the pain of putting it together wasnt enough) i was handed the splinter of all splinters... YIKES. look @ the pain and the size of that mother effing thing!

oh, it went UNDER my fingernail. yes, UNDERNEATH!!!!

seriously. look at this size of it. it's about 2-3 cm's in length. and look at me in the background.

and anyways... after all that shit, here is the end result. donations via paypal to my email account.

wild night in

well, last night... for no reason... red wine was on the menu and sarah IMAX came over for a visit. so, it was off to work to say hello to chris and be annoying and return DVDS and get some more wine. after my movie date went down the toilet, it seemed appropriate to drown all our communal sorrows in cheap tasty red wine and every single musical we could get our hands on..

first up was rent... probably the most masculine line up i've ever had in one night... but after singing our hearts out and being all "awww i wish i could sing..." "when am i going to make a musical" and ... "that's it... im getting singing lessons..." anyways, all together now ...

"five hundred, twenty-one thousand six hundred minutesssssss...."

buffy musical episode proved to be a hit, with dummy and jiblett popping in for a visit after likim couldnt handle the happiness everyone had with the appreciation of RENT ... so, dummy and jiblett knew all the freakin' words to buffy, along with sarah K and steven ... this is about mmm 12-30am ...

after that was selected quick highlights of "moulin rouge"

can can ... roxanne ... and the big effing finale and lots of me rolling around the floor.

next was "beauty and the beast" soundtrack which is always a hit with IMAX - seriously, i can see sarah's childhood in her effing eyeballs when she sings that song...

"there goes the baker with his bread like always... the same old bread and buns to sell"

nah, its awesome... and so emo... and then the next best was all of us singing to angela lansbury's version of "beauty and the beast... " off to the cupboard now chip ... sniff sniff

FINALLY it was time to call it a night so, we whacked on CHICAGO for a good old "cell block tango"

"fuuuuck... she's so good in this movie" (c.z.j's) and blah blah... im getting tired and thinking of passing outttttttttttttttttttttttttt..../...........//.,,/m,.'m,;;,,;',.......

jindabyne

well... i finally saw the latest offering that the aussie film industry had to give me...

after all the hype i heard about it being "natural lighting" and all first takes like stage production i was sooooo excited... so, likim was having a shit-house day - more than usual - so, to cheer her up we went and watched 2 and a half hours of this...

tuesday at hoyts... cheap day. it was weird. it was like a NOVA crowd at these hella popcorn cinemas... not a japanese uni student to be seen. it was as i said to likim on the day "just gays and old women" she looooved to start cracking up and laughing at it...

yes, so the film was fantastic. really amazing. and im totally in love with laura liney - ever since seeing her in "the truman show" ... and she was great. if you liked lantana... go see it... the performances were all terrific and it was shot extremely well, although, i was very interested in the intensive zooms that my old pal ray chose to use... but, if you want a good aussie film to watch and be proud of, have a look... and i will have to get back to you and see what my mother thought of it...

meanwhile.... heres something to look out for in october/november ... probably one of the films i cant wait to see ... BABEL ---- http://www.paramountvantage.com/babel/

do you dance like you WHAT?

well, another night of filming on ballistyx - this time it was out in effing chadstone. totally not cool, athough, the place was a ye olde tavern with some pretty good production design, a fake london street that i could've sworn i saw in "pirates 2" so, if yo got no life and dont watch lost, tune in on thurs, channel 31 @ 8.30.

after losing sensation in my wrists from holding the effing camera for soo long, i was delighted when i finally got a chance to go to the much talked about 24 HOUR PANCAKE PARLOUR! it seems many bloggers just love to rave about this place as i discovered when i googled some images ... just look at this... the place in doncaster looks like a freaking castle...

anyways, i was pretty much overwhelmed by the menu. i felt like i had been slapped in the face with like, 2 bits of oversized cardboard crammed with writing ... there was so much to choose from! check this link.

http://www.pancakeparlour.com/Menu/menu.html

i thought shit like this didnt exist. man. its so pleasantville style.

yeh, so i ended up having a potato and cheese pancake w/ salad, and a SUPER rasberry spider followed by a pancake with ice-cream for desert. only one complaint, the service was total rubbish. one lass politely approached us...

"im sorry, may i interrupt. can i please collect your maple syrup for cleaning purposes?"

anyways... it never came back!!!! FUUUUCK. it was desert time and we asked the waitress for our cannister of syrup to be returned and she never did it. GRRRR. so, ben just had ice cream.

ohhh... perky! cant forget her. man, her arse was hot. it was so mesmorising leila and i were both in trance-esque states. i couldnt even find a picture to represent it... so, all i have is my excellent diagram which took 8 seconds.

basically, the image on the left, represents how ones ass should look, detached from the thigh. it is correct. the image on the right side, is anyone else.. in other words ... NO DEAL!

in other news, some young slappers on the train asked for my number. thing was, they didnt have the goodies. it was like, youugly.com ... DAMN!

nah, this is how it went down basically..

girl1- oh my god, he just gave you the biggest greasy.
me- huh, oh, no... i was just wondering why she kept looking at me.
girl1- yeh, she thinks you're hot.
me- oh, ok. thats good i guess.
girl1- what?
me- i said, i can handle that i guess.
girl1- oh. maybe you should give her your number.

the other girl turns around.

girl2- how old are you? are you like 30 something?
me- no.
girl2- well, how old are you?
me- im 16.
girl2- oh, you're too young for my mom.
girl1- so you gonna give her your number or what?
me- i dont think so.
girl1- why not.
me- my mom told me not to.

yeh... fun times.

Dance Through Me

here is loredo's dance show. hopefully he wont care it's on my blog. anyways, its awesome.

chris

as promised, here is a post about new-comer to the video ezy team. christopher.

unlike other workers, we have the same sense of bad humor and excellent choice in clothing. we both wear jeans and like quoting arrested development and share a passion for spotting out slappers that come into the store.

i really dont know what to write, because it is a little odd that i have been told i MUST do this, anyways, most of you know about chris because he bears an extreme resemblance to ryan atwood from the o.c and a small frat boy that you'd see drinking beer from a red cup at a dorm campus.

for a young man he is quite intelligent and can draw quite good storyboards for my latest upcoming movie - "if i only had a brain" its a reference to the wizard of oz scare-crow cant say too much right now...

p.s- i watched return to oz and i was so shocked at this pile'o'crap and its total lack of respect for the original.

p.p.s- i have been watching MORE twin peaks... more than the reccomended dosage... and really, well... david lynch is freakin' genius. the whole time i sit there making "errrghghh" noise and screwing my face in reaction to EVERY single visual he has...

im currently listening to enrique englesias ... (whats wrong with me) and talking to like, 6 different people on msn.

watched dave chappelle's block party and transamerica... WHAT? both really good. transamerica was really good, the son was hot and the huffman gave an excellent performance.

i recently went to japanese and managed to have totally different meal. it was awesome.

man, this blog is so random. i owe likim about 670 clams now, after buying her some pillows the money has come down in price.

other events included going on a "stealth" mission to a TOP SECRET location to spy on a mystery man (X) with mystery partner (Y) and me, (Z) ... it was emo like that coldplay song. but, again, cant say too much at this time...

check dummy's blog for some dum pics of her at a dress up party... she loves to ... http://somevelvetmorning79.blogspot.com/

went to borders and bought brokeback mountain and told the woman i had a pirated copy of it. decided i needed to support new love of my life ang lee and buy his masterpeice.

but, before that awkward encounter, this is what was said...

me- just that thanks.
her- have you seen it?
me- yes.
her- did you like it?
me- no, it was a fucking waste of time. fuckin' hate fags.

COME ON LADY!!! am i seriously going to spend 30 of my clams on a movie i havent seen and/or didnt like??

p.s- sorry about gay comment.

anyways, i have to go and stop being anti-social with the housemates...

web exclusive

going through the photo archives, and i came across this interesting photo ...

it's my mother with a 70's spider-man actor in NYC ... and i think i have posted it before...

and something totally illegal and exciting... the new spider-man poster ... hottie!!! yewww

i love to be slightly talented like dummy

here are some dum photos i took ages ago on lindsays dum digi-cam. anyways, enjoy. although the quality is nothing like dummy's.

http://www.fotopages.com/cgi-bin/account.pl?page=2

but, anyways, here are mine ...




this one loves to have a double meaning

material may offend some readers

well, its been about 10 daaaays since my lasy post. i know you all are like, thinking terrible things maybe have happened to stop me from blogging. well, to be honest, there has been seriously absolutely NOTHING to blog about. COME ON!!!

although there are a few little comedy moments to catch you up on... i will begin now.

guy walks into work, im there (duh) and he is old and hairy and white and has hella worn out skin that looks like he has been in six world wars and rubbed 27 toads on his face because he has so many effing warts...

him - (picking up video ezy entertainment guide) oh, what'dya reckon? think she'd be a decent fuck?
me - ummm, oh, (freaking the shit out) um, i wouldnt have a clue sorry.
him - oh, come on... you're a man ... surely you'd give it a good go.

he had someone else with him who then came into the conversation.

other - oh, nah mate... i think you'd have to have a fair bit of coke to get anywhere near her ... dont you think?
me - oh, again... wouldnt know.

at that moment they both look away and i turn to my invisible camera crew and make that face ala tim from the office.


what.are.you.doing?

the conversation then begins again ... he turns the page.

him - ohhhh... i'd like to have a suck on those titties ...

i try to do work and not look interested in their filthy conversation... he catches me looking at them

him - oh, you know what i'm saying dont you. they'd taste so sweet...
other - oh, shut up terry. come on man. fuck, you're scaring the kid.

then, he says something else ... think of me making this face.
him - oh, im not a "punjabby" (?) or anything, but i'd love to stick it in her arse.
other - nah mate... i'd rather eat my dinner off of that.

FINALLY THEY LEAVE... i catch the rest of the conversation.

other - terry mate, hold the dog... i gotta take a slash in the alley.

she loves to over analyse

recently saw pirates of the caribbean and totally loved it. although, sarah K totally ruined my dum little mood with her shrugging after the film ended. i knew we'd have trouble as apparently the giant squid represented a womans vagina and something about the destructive force of woman. i was so oblivious to this. another one i didnt even notice at ALL was the scene where they are in the balls hanging from the cliff ... and, yes, all of you who have seen it, may or may have not noticed that all the "ethnic" pirates died. they were the bad guys. there was like, a black guy, indian, asian ... etc etc ... but, to me, they are pirates ... so, they are bad anyway. i dont think this went down with sarah to well.

anyways, i loved it. not just loved it, but loved it the way sarah chu loves to say love. ask me for an impression. it was soooo coool.... i realised i love ships and banging and clanging... i loved master and commander ... but, as soon as i got home i downloaded the soundtrack and each time i go to work, (usually i am late) i run so fast jumping and "swash-buckling" my way there... (basically, i look like a spazz) waving my arms in the air - pretending to hold a sword. its like that star wars kid but, me - a 20 yr old male looking like this.

so, yeh... it was so cool and i loved it. so much water and loudness. ohhhh.... cream my jeans. argghhh!!!!

other movies i have watched include -

house of sand & fog - quite good, it had terrorist mother & son duo from 24 and sir ben kingsley who is always good. it was really emo and powerful, although, i know there is some message in there i missed, maybe about the american dream and about ownership and who has the right to be a citizen or something. yeh, and probably the best "oh fuck i stood on a nail on a plank of wood" scene i have seen in recent times.

color me kubrick - funny and crazy - malkovich is a nutter - i couldnt believe how crazy this guy was... definately good for a laugh.

off beat - some swedish film with a hottie who i thought was gay but ended up having sex with a pregnant lass and who in turn ends up dying

(its part of my commitment to watch foreign films)

maria full of grace - really good. made me gag though every time she had to swallow those pellets. ewwww. but, yeh... worth looking at.

36 - its a frenchy film with gerard dep-ar-due and it was a police crime thriller with lots of guns and nice cars... quite well shot and action scenes were cool.

and today i FINALLY watched "tristam shandy - a cock & bull story" (thanks to sarah IMAX) and it was really funny. i am starting to be a big michael winterbottom fan, after in this world and code 46 and 9 songs even though it was just sex in 82 minutes or something...

but, yes, definately worth checking out and im really glad i got it off my list because theres about 6-ish movies i wanna see...

jindabyne, ten canoes, hard candy, 3 burials ... cant think of the rest at the moment ...


so, yeh!!! thats about it from me... until next time, see you soon.... DONT CHAAAAAA

where do i begin ?

work. wow. what an effing a-hole. so many effing c bombs this weekend.

okay.. case study 1.

guy walks in to store to sign up. only has pension card and keycard from bank. this is how the conversation went down. b= me & h=him.

h - hi, i'd like to join up...
m- yep, i just need a drivers license and a medicare card...
h- oh, all i have is (look above) this...
m- yeh, sorry... you actually need those things to hire - its store policy.
h- this is a joke. is your manager here? can i speak to them?
m- no, sorry... they arent.
h- well, call them now.
m- um, ok...

now, i wouldnt usually do this, but the guy looked like a racist fucking heart attack victim so i didnt want to piss him off and have a death on my hands..

and after calling annie (boss) and him speaking to her - he ends the phone conversation with this...

h- this is a joke. i have enough bloody i.d to open up a bank account (umm, which freakin' bank are you at you fucking dipshit) i cannot believe this. thanks for nothing...

now, he hands me back the phone.

h- yeh, shove it up your arse!

OMG. what? who... serious? i was like, in shock. what a cunt. honestly. he then walks out of the store and puts his fucking 30 y.o bike helmet on and gets on his bike.... but, not before he re-enters the store and has the fucking balls to ask...

h- where is the nearest video store?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

case study 2.

ok, trying to locate a member on the computer... they are already pissy because they didnt get the movie the wanted. t=them, m=me.

t- im sorry, but we were actually next in line thank you.
m- oh, sorry... i was kinda all over the place... so, just that one was it?
t- yes.
m- have you got your card or password?
t- 28476

i type it in and its not coming up.

m- sorry, that doesnt come up with anyone.
t- i cannot believe this. every time we come in here this happens. its totally un-acceptable.
m- ok, well... can i have the name on the account please?
t- yes. its frank karut.

i type that in.

m- yeh, ahahah, sorry, that doesnt come up with anything either.

he takes this mother fucking HUGE exhale - like im a fucking dumb shit or something.

t- are you sure you are typing it in correctly?
m- yes. and im sorry, nothing is coming up.
t- so, what, you are telling me i am not on your computer system?

(im losing it at this stage)

m- well, it would appear that way wouldnt it.
t- frank karut. k-a-r-u-t.

im thinking i can fucking spell you son of a bitch.

m- yeh, i am typing in "frank K" and nothing is coming up. can i have the phone number please.
t- oh, you have got to be kidding. seriously... (he exhales again)
m- i am trying to find you and nothing is coming up.

ok, blah blah ... after fucking ages, like, 2 minutes, i am starting to get really stressed out. shaking and fucking twitching and meh.

turns out the fuckwit didnt have a password - he had a card. and his name wasnt FRANK, it was a fucking german-ish hybrid of the name frank like, FRANCIEZEK or something fucking stupid.

anyways... to cut a totally long story story short.... they got totally pissy with me and all this over some fucking trashy straight to dvd release. after the walked off, (p.s- the store is fucking packed...) i released my frustration by doing something like this behind the counter...

unfortunately for me they both turned around to see me yelling/miming

"HELP ME GOD"

and shaking my fists in the air and to their face. ouch. and all the other customers were laughing. oh, they love me. they really love me.

dum you later.

she loves to be talented

going through all of likims photos on the net and i thought i should just put some on here because, a- they are really good and b- im lacking in material for this crying son of a bitch... the bottom one is my fave coz its dum... but have a look here if u wanna see heaps more...

http://delladonna.fotopages.com/

just a couple of ladies...

going through the photo archives just recently and i came across this... WAAAAAAAAY before that show was around likim and i had started the joke... seriously...



... out for a nice lady cup of tea.

its been 10 daaays...

missy higgins style. my life is so boring. heres some of the very "important" highlights of my life recently.

work. some guy comes in and says he just finished watching six feet under season two-disc one... he comes up to the counter and asks "what comes after disc one..."

i think i might have walked off on him after asking possibly one of the dumBest questions around.

mmm well, i have been out a fair bit lately... and its all happening ... (one way or another) i guess the biggest head explosion of recent times would have to be robs random drunk rambling. now, as we all know, any time a teenager gets drunk and starts talking religion, politics, time & space, meaning of life, holy grail and every other effing question raised in the history of existence... (that was another one) it ends in disaster. well, this was about as long as an extended edition of king kong would be... approximately 4 1/2 hours of talking. ( go here to stephanie's blog to check out the photos shechosedown.blogspot.com ) so, basically... you can read all about it here too... anyways ... rob, if you read this, i hope you remember never to talk about that shit again. I DONT CARE!

what else... oh, i saw superman... it was preddy coolio. i cannot believe though that certain people do NOT find him hot. not even a percentage of hotness. i mean, "come on" ... but, the movie was really good... very emo and dramatic and some good laughs in there provided by parker posey who's always good ... kevin spacey was good with his few lines and brandon routh who played cape man was extremely good was clarkie/supes!!! 4 stars ! !

DA VINCI CODE WAS OKAY-ISH. ian mckellan saved it really. although, to be honest, all the acting was quite good... tommy hanks... always a pleasure really... i fell asleep though... but, not because it was boring - i was tired.

the other night i did my first filming job for the "goin' ballistyx" snowboarding show where i was on camera. yes, my filming will be on channel 31 which i didnt realise it is kinda exciting... but, i mean, it was all hand held and i had to refrain from using "24"-esque moves - ala swinging the camera around and trying to be arty with pull focus' etc etc... but, i think i did okay... maybe if you can be bothered - try watching - channel 31 @ 8.30 thursday... who cares about lost anyway!?

well, it was sarah and stevens birthdays recently and that meant presents. meh. although, i managaed to pair up with each of them and get some coolio presents... highlight i think being "lois & clark - the new adventures of superman" on dvd... oh, the memories of watching this show with sarah chu back on VHS...

oh... and last but not least.. i know im a season behind, but i just finished watching O.C season 2. caleb died. thingy went to alco clinic. shizen. marissa shot freakin trey. oh... its not easy living there. i must admit i had a little cry with all those events - oh, and the car crash with kirsten ...

p.s - we still dont have a fridge. bye. might have a nap.