connect the .'s

job network fun

as an energy slash brain booster our trainer likes to give us exercises like the one below. dont ask me how it fits in with "how to get a job" but- it's important to do these things. the first person who can give me... 10 of these abbrev.'s will win something. seriously.

• 7= w. of the a.w
• 12= s. of the z.
• 54=c. in a d. (with the j.)
• 9= p. in the s.s
• 18= h. in a g.c
• 90= d. in a r.a
• 24= h. in a d.
• 3= b.m (s.h.t.r)
• 1= w. on a u.
• 9= s. in n. & c.
• 26= l. in the a.
• 14= d. in a f.

anyways... goodluck and have fun. and if you think this is shit try working with "misery" herself!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO ME

p.s - what the fuck is with these peoples faces???

anyways... my blog is 1 year old today!!!

sing your songs and comment and all that shit!!!

GOT ANOTHER INTERVIEW

WITH JB HI-FI...

FINGERS CROSSED (EVEN TIGHTER)

movie things

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cate Blanchett Joins "Indiana Jones"

By Garth FranklinFriday March 16th 2007 12:30am

Cate Blanchett has signed on to star in the fourth installment of the "Indiana Jones" adventures says The Hollywood Reporter. David Koepp's screenplay is being kept under wraps so it is unclear what character Blanchett will play, though sources indicate it's a major role. Harrison Ford already has boarded the project, which will be produced by Lucasfilm and directed by Steven Spielberg. Shooting will begin in June in Los Angeles and at undisclosed locations around the world. The film will get a release on May 22nd 2008.

p.s - did anyone else spot her in HOT FUZZ???

p.p.s - the movie was brilliant. 2 cornettos up! (instead of 2 thumbs)

yo ho ho

previously...

first of all; pretend my life is a TV show. it will seem more interesting when you read about all the shit that i have been dealing with lately. and insert your own ad breaks when you want as well.

so, where have i been the last few days? well, ... it seems i got a job. a job network... ohhh...!!! no, but because apparently i have been unemployed for too long centrelink has enrolled me into a compulsory training programme designed to get me back on board and be active and not think that im a useless peice of nothing that will just sit on his bed, watch DVDS and eat crisps...

off i trot to my first appointment thinking that i am just going in to get a diary or some shit... and then 30 minutes later i am signed on for 3 weeks of intensive training on "how to get a job" where i have to go to this fucking hell hole of an office and be surrounded by "misery guts" or guts's ... (what is the plural for guts) and basically all we do is go on the internet and look for jobs.

now, arriving there was so awkward at the start... sitting in a cold room that has all these success words on the walls... (it makes for good scripting material) and i was sitting with a young boy, a 46-ish something woman who still had grade 10 cert. on her resume, and a couple of somali guys who seemed pretty cool. i just heard them make a few jokes about stuff.

1st question... ok, ben... "what's your dream job" ?? i gave her my usual to be a director jazz and then she was impressed and also like ... "as if the fuck you're going to get anywhere you miserable sack of shit..." and then she asked the same question to one of the somali guys...

"taxi driver"

ohhh... for fucks sake i thought. come on dude... you can do better than that. and then he spoke again...

"but ultimately i would like to get into textiles and design... perhaps knitting."

it was at that moment that my heart just went "OUCH" it was so cute. knitting. who wants that to be their dream job? except for old white nana's who bake and shit...

so, after working on my resume (this is still day 1) and applying for some jobs it was not too bad. everyone was just doing the same shit, different day.

"oooh, this place is so shit. it's like hell. this room especially. it's like a gas chamber" ...

then the woman/host answered back...

"dont be like that. just do your work. and, sorry, but as someone who's grandparents died in a NAZI concentration camp i really think comments like that are totally unexceptable and i think you need to leave. this is my training room so just go back outside..."

WHAT THE FUCK??? THINGS JUST GOT MEGA AWKWARD.

then to cool things down... she said this..

"oooh... im cranky now. i didnt get my morning apple."

YEH, I BET THAT'S WHAT PUSHED HER OVER THE EDGE. A FUCKING APPLE.

mmm ...

and then there was a question about "ultimate super power" because she thought we had lost our energy.

"ben, what would yours be?"

i gave her the usual predict the future so i could win the fucking lotto and buy some film equiptment blah blah blah...

and then she asked the 46-ish yr old misery guts woman... she answered with this...

(white shirt, coffee split down the front, freckles, aged, long pointy nose, hair in a high pony-tail, has a black cloud of misery hanging over her head)

"um... to be good at landscaping."

LADY!!! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SUPER POWER IS THAT?

DO YOU SEE SUPERMAN SAVING THE WORLD THEN GOING...

"OH, I SHOULD JUST FUCKING RENOVATE THIS OLD GHETTO WHILE IM HERE AND MAKE IT A FUCKING CHILDS PLAYGROUND"

she wasnt trying. and the supervisor could tell.

"no... like, superpower... anything in the world. like, mine? (not that anyone asked or cared) mine would be flying. so i wouldnt have to wait in traffic. that would be fantastic ... so? ultimate superpower..."

"well, ok... umm... oh, i guess it would be good at gardening. maybe go back to school and get my degree?"

OH FUCKING HELL.

THAT'S LUNCH!!!

I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW!!!

AT YOUR OL' PAL...

JB HI-FI

FINGERS FUCKING CROSSED!!!

another great idea from...

RING RING... RING RING...

me - hello?
mum - hey sweetie
me - how are you?
mum - yeh good. darling, do you want to go work in dubai? they've got jobs for everyone.
me - huh?
mum - dubai - they'll pay for your accom and meals and all you have to do is go over there and work. editors, camera-men, writers... sweetie - you should have a look. are you online?
me - no, i just disconnected. that's dum.
mum - no, go back on - i'll give you the link. you should go for it. dubai is one of the richest places in the world and they want english people to work there.
me - i'm online now
mum - ok. have a look.


WHAAAAAAAAAT IS SHE THINKING???

OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED THANKS TO STEPH FOR GIVING ME THIS INFORMATION IT'S GOING TO BE SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!

300 WILL BE SHOWN AT IMAX!!!

that's all.

april 7

village verdict

saturday night... steve and i both have the night off. well, i have every night off, but steve no.


anyways, since we had such a good time going to the movies for free last time (smokin' aces) i asked him very obviously ... "steve, can you take me to the movies for free since we had such a good time last time?" and, being soooo kind he said yes. sooooooooooo... we got into the car and headed out to CHAPEL ST. oh man, so many hotties there. it was intimidating. but, we all looked hot too. dummy came along too.


we get there and line up (im surprised at the Q) and then get to the ticket box where all hell insued. what a fucking kerfuffle. first of all i got the time wrong, so instead of it being 30 mins to wait to the film it was 1 hour... which meant they couldnt put the tickets through (because they were free) so after waiting for what seemed like a good ten minutes, the manager came down to enter the code and because it was still like 50 mins to the film started she couldnt put the code it. sooooo dum. it's like they dont trust staff with the code or something. like it's a fucking national security risk. DUM DUMS!


so, whatever, we have to come back at 9.30 (15 mins before the start)

this story really is going nowhere. enough to say that village cinema's are dum - and i think i'd rather work for hoyts.

WHAT MOVIE DID YOU SEE BEN? JUST TELL US JESUS...



"GWOEMUL"


for those in the know will know what i saw. but, the movie was soooooooooooo cool. usually monster movies suck big time - godzilla. mmm... i can't think of many... but this one was so real. it comes from south korea and it is BLOCKBUSTER entertainment with a emo little tale on families. OUCH. except i didnt realise that ... (spoiler alert) the girl died at the end - i thought he was just taking care of the boy and the girl went with her auntie and uncle (spoiler end) so, it wasn't until the car ride home when someone mentioned how "ouchie" it was... i was like, no... and then it was dum and i was proved wrong and just goes to show how obvious cinema is and how i can easily miss things.

but everything in this movie was fine. top notch. except the fire. and when you see it you will know what i mean. sound was used really well, very effective and music as well. it had this really awkward and quirky sense of humor and intelligence and all the characters you totally care about - even though they are the "losers" ... special FX are great, the monster is sooo cool and so well designed (thanks to weta & the gang)

also loved the fact that it was always raining and the gang was constantly dirty and wet. it's that kinda PD that gets me all excited. just check the girls face and you'll know what i mean. grrreat make-up and blood and stuff...

its great to see a movie come out of a country where you least expect it. and it's certainly better than any monster movie to come out of the USA in recent times.

so, go see this movie right now. before hollywood remakes it into something fucking stupid where they swap the "instant noodles" for a big mac and they change it and blame korea for creating the monster instead of americans!

im going to agree with you margaret and say 4 stars!

as for village service at jam factory - 0 stars... (i missed my fucking trailers)

more posters

coming to a theatre near you

get excited.

smokey and the bandit

... well, it has been a few days now and it seems someone (who will remain anon. because they didnt leave their details) wanted an update. i dont know what to say.

ok. i'm still unemployed. but i have been looking.

i have applied for the following jobs.

• sanity
• virgin megastore
• kino dendy cinema
• jb hi-fi - movie advisor
• jb hi-fi - music advisor
• jb hi-hi - counter sales
• cirque du soleil
• village cinemas
• HMV

and more that i cannot actually remember. so, im starting to feel pretty useless as it's just about been 2 months since i have been paid to work. and next week i have to go to a "jobseeker" meeting where i am sure i am going to feel absolutely shithouse because i am going to be surrounded by people that ... are in my situation.

anyways, walking around the city today and i fucking was suffocating in what was a fucking large grey haze surrounding me. i thought it was smog or some shit when i finally realised every single second person was sucking on a fucking cancer stick. i have NEVER NEVER noticed more people smoking in my life. it's fucking killing you. the worst is when you see obese people smoking. dont they realise that they are twice as close to death?!!!!


WAKE UP PEOPLE.


im going to start slapping soon.

so, finished my comedy script for a tv show that was in development for a fucking long time. in the words of my housemate steven (butler) lochran ... i dunno, i actually cannot remember what he said but he liked it. and, so, yeh. that's enough for me. someone with a creative writing degree. meh. oh, housemate. yeh, we have one now! so... her name is ashley and she is .... litterally an "OL' PAL" ... long story but she is sister of friend from QLD and yeh.. all swell.

SHOWS I'M HOOKED ON

• DR. WHO (billie is a hottie)
• heroes (cheerleader is a hottie)
• 24 (jack bauer is a hottie)
• www.williamsledd.com (mmm kind of a hottie) HEY BITCHES!!!

so, ... there is another list of fucking things i want to buy... oh man. i cannot wait to be employed, free of debt, back at the gym, and buying DVDS.

what a life of luxury.

i really cannot think of anything else to say. here is a picture from the archives.

nana and me.

wish list version 1.0

1. twin peaks season 2 DVD
2. the kingdom DVD
3. arrested development season 3 DVD
4. planet earth season 1&2 DVD
5. queer as folk season 2 DVD
6. work of directors DVDS - spike jonze, cunningham etc...
7. shaun micallef box set DVD
8. ROME - season 1 DVD
9. casablanca poster
10. schindlers list poster
11. kill bill Vol. 2 poster
12. amelie poster
13. LOST Vol. 1&2 soundtracks
14. 24 Vol. 2 soundtrack
15. phantom of the opera tickets
16. cirque du soleil tickets
17. priscilla tickets
    
18. OH, AND A FUCKING JOB PEOPLE!!!