soooo LOST

OMG!!! it's sooo good!!!

into the depp end

err! get it.. man im good. SNAP!

soo the movie was pretty good... although, my only complaint is that there was too much talking... yeh, whatever ... shut up... i want action and swash-buckling... in the end it delivered. but it was very un-even in my opinion.

but all the elements were there... although i feel chow yun-fat was totally under used ... a little cliche... but ohh.. the monkey had some good moments... oooh it can throw things and survive a cannonball launch...

anyways, im totally just rambling but it was actually pretty good... the whole keira acting really got to me at some moments... but in the end the fact that they didnt have a totally happy ending made me happy.

this is a shithouse review because i cannot be bothered.

but the movie was pretty good and all the effects and creatures are all top notch. i just hope they dont make another one... it was all wrapped up nicely.

YAARGH!!

Ohh... Don't Let Me Down!!!

i just want some good ol' action. i dont care for story!!!

*review to follow in a few hours...

CON-Test

so remember ages ago when i was punched in the face at video ezy?

yeh. apparently there is the chance that i may have to go to trial because the mother fucker that did it saying that it didnt happen. i just spoke to the constable dealing with this "crap" (her words, not mine) and she isnt actually quite sure what part of the "he leaned over the counter and smacked me in the chops" part he is contesting and arguing happened.

CUNT.

sorry. makes me angry. and the fact that i have to deal with all this shit again just makes it worse. just fuckin' charge the turd with assault and make him inject human waste into his eyeballs!!! that'll teach him.

SO

FUCKING

OVER

POLICE

AND

ASSAULT

CASES!!!

Interesting ...

You Tube 24/7 Here I Come!!!

for those who don't know...

I AM GETTING BROADBAND!!!

and it's about time. seriously. i have been dying in this townhouse with dial-up ... 3 people on 1 connection is not cool. but, we are only days away. plans have been talked about.. numbers have been swapped... all i am waiting on is to give this bitch my bank details and to send me a modem. it's going to cost about $30 each for 1 month access and phone rental. that's an effing bargain since our phone bill alone is about $85 a month...

i cannot wait to hit up bit torrent and start downloading all the new shows ... fresh from USA!!! heroes finale... ugly betty... 24... LOST... ohhh... dont even get me thinking about HBO!!!

p.s - could that effing picture be any bigger???

of course it could be...

WITH BROADBAND!!!!!!!

Att: Sarah IMAX

the fourth season artwork... super-freakaaaay!

Bessie = 21 (pt. two)

so... last night i arrived in barwon heads after another V-LINE train from melbourne for B's 21st birthday... lets say i was a little late as i missed my train and nearly chucked a tantrum and cried my effing eyes out. but i got there in the end and here are some photos from the evening...

Bessie = 21 (pt. one)

so the other day i went to ballarat to join in the festivities of bessie turning 21! yes, it only feels like yesterday that i was down for her 18th.

anyways... got to ballarat and "got on it" ... after arriving straight from work.. bessie and laura decided i wasnt dressed to the theme of looking RAD. so, i ended up looking like this...

so, it was a good night overall... got quite drunk and didnt feel gross the next day. went to local ballarat spot "haida" or something. .. basically pronounced hide-r. bessie had arranged special cocktail/mocktail/poweraide-tail made up that was seriously like drinking a massive thing of special energiser formula. at $10 a pop they werent cheap and thank god i only had one...

and the night went on and it was a big success! for a wednesday night, you'd have thought it was a sat or a fri with the amount of people there. ALL SO FABULOUS!!!

Monday @ the Movies

science of sleep
well, yeh... someone very close to me said it was quote "the best movie ever" or something like that... and all i can say to that was WHY? it was sooooo annoying. i felt like such a grinch in that cinema!! everyone was laughing around me ... even the fucking hyena behind me. anyways, so, it was full of PD and it had hottie gael garcia bernal... but that wasnt enough to save it from the script. full of dumb immature (in a bad way) jokes and just bad dialogue it really got up my goat! the main dude cant tell what is dream and what is real life so he has trouble getting the girl he loves/likes even though he acts like a complete jerk to her... i dunno... im sorry sarah IMAX but this movie really did nothing for me. even all the cute stop-motion animation and all that jazz got tiresome after a while... and, its a shame because he did so well with eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

half nelson

well... after all the rave reviews for ryan goslings performance, i thought i should check it out and see what all the fuss was about. and again, i was let down. it wasnt brilliant.. it wasnt outstanding.. it was just ... it just was. although, that said... shareeka epps, who plays the student was pretty good... i thought she was infact better! anwyays ... the story goes teacher=druggie + student=catching him = relationship drama... it was a good portrayal of a teacher who actually cares about his students... just not about his own life. it didnt take the usual temptation of going down the sexual relationship aisle... basically it was a nice relationship thing that had its problems. nothing MAJOR happens in this film and the ending is also nothing exciting either. the movie had some good moments, the camera work i enjoyed and it had some gritty PD to make it feel at home. im not sure he really deserved an oscar nom for this one... but he certainly is one talent to look out for in the future.

What Is Wrong With This Man???

yes... that show is on... and at the moment... he is cutting up a penis and some guys fucking testies to show how the sperm gets into the vagina.

i seriously swallowed some vomit.


but this fucker is enjoying every second of cutting up my privates!!!

i was going to put a picture of something similar... but steven would probably rip his eyeballs out then vomit on himself after throwing himself out of a window.

it is so fucking fucked up... I HATE THIS SHOW!!!!

Movie Restaurants/Menu Items

so... being bored at work the other day, i decided to bring out a game that i played a little while back with sarah and steven ... its pretty much changing movie names into food related places or things you'd eat. like, change one word ... but it has to kinda rhyme... anyways, here are some of the results of 1 days work.

• REQUIEM FOR AN ICE-CREAM
• PIED AND PREJUDICE
• MIAMI RICE
• GANGS OF NEW PORK
• SOME LIKE IT HOT N' SPICY
• CASINO ROYALE W/ CHEESE
• MILLION DOLLAR BABY-BACK RIBS
• AN ECLAIR TO REMEMBER
• DAWN OF THE BREAD
• FRIENDS WITH HONEY
• TOAST BUSTERS
• 28 TRAYS LATER
• THE ELEPHANT PLAN
• PIRATES OF THE CURRY BEAN - THE DEAD MAN'S BEST
• RESERVOIR HOT-DOGS
• PIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE
• THE CHIVES OF OTHERS
• THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT FAIRY-BREAD
• A WOK TO REMEMBER
• PLANET OF THE CREPES
• THAI SCHOOL MUSICAL
• WOK THE LINE
• THE LAMB SHANKS REDEMPTION
• BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BREAD
• AN INCONVENIENT SOUP
• LE CREME NIKITA
• GENTLEMEN PREFER SCONES
• WHAT FRIES BENEATH
• RAIDERS OF THE LOST TACO

of course that's only a sample... we had a page more.. seriously.. so much fun. and so nerdy at the same time!!!

Even Though Someone Beat Me To It

ha! so here is heath ledger as joker ... and the new logo for ...

THE DARK KNIGHT

bECAUSE i wAS sTUCK @ hOME fOR a dAY

rAT iN a hAT

iT tAKES tWO

now, because my concession card has run out, i dont want to risk it and get a fine for not having it... my only option?? i am pretty much house bound ... internet, bed, tv, dvds is my daily diet.

anyways... i dont know if anyone else is following or if anyone else even cares... but i switched on to "it takes two" on channel 7 last night... and guess who wasnt there?

yes. my old pal.

it seems poor old grant denyer has been given the boot ... now i havent actually confirmed this... i tried ringing channel 7 several times for a comment, but he seems to have disappeared. if you dont know what happened... then check this article and then come back...

Seven Network star Grant Denyer has apologised for commenting on radio that he felt like "he'd had sex with a black man".

The comment, made on Nova's Merrick and Rosso program this morning in reference to Denyer's exhaustion after the Logies, drew nervous laughter from the radio hosts but outraged gay activists and politicians.

In response to a question about his condition after the Logies, Denyer, who hosts Seven's It Takes Two show, said he had slept for only two hours after the awards night.

"So it was a big old day … let me say I'm feeling like I had sex with a black man right now," he said.

Denyer made another reference to his sexual analogy at the end of the segment, saying, "I'll be the host who looks like he's been riding a horse for a week".

Making his apology on Seven's Today Tonight, Denyer said he had not meant to offend.
"Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't go out to offend," he said. "It was a wobbly joke, made way too early in the morning."

Anti-homophobia activist Simon Biber said the comments reflected a popular myth about the size of black men's penises, and were both sexist and racist. "It's homophobic but the racial slur is more serious, appealing as it does to a stereotype," he said. "It's harmful, but unfortunately it's not uncommon."

so.. just be care what you say. although ... i am taking the david brent approach to the issue.

"you don't punish someone for having large boobs"

"if anything ... you congrate them!"

we just need to have a breath people. but, in the mean time im glad to see larry emdur back on the tele... he would never say anything to offend.

HANG ON. it was only a guest host gig. our weatherman is overseas on a cruise ship.

I THOUGHT I HAD A SCANDAL!!!

...

I HAVE TO MUCH FUCKING TIME!!!

Money Bags!!!

Sore Eyes

ok... so, i have been averaging about 2 and a half movies a day lately .. which means i am watching about 5-ish hours of tv/film/media a day (including my daily dose of television)

dont worry, i have some days off work - so i am using them wisely and catching up on the old picture shows! so, below are some pretty quick reviews of everything i have watched in the past few days...

sketches of frank gehry

this doco is shot by film-maker sydney pollack who is usually making clear and present danger, the interpreter and other such political thrillers... its about the famous architect who is an old pal of syd's. basically explores his work and how he is inspired and looks at all his fucking amazing buildings around the world.. not really a polished doco ... because as pollack says, he isn't at all familiar with the way to approach the subject. it's an intimate look at his friends work and its a pretty fascinating experience to see just how these buildings are created... it's probably not for everyone, but it is worth a look if you appreciate massive buildings and the art in how they are made!!!

noise

the new aussie film written & directed by matthew saville of "we can be heroes" fame. basically some woman is the only one to survive a mass murdering of a melbourne train (GO CONNEX for not seeing it on the 'security') and the killer knows her name. at the same time, a cop (played by brendan cowell from love my way) is under-going some serious head trauma because he has a constant ringing in his ears. sooo... he gets put in a caravan to conduct interviews around the area of sunshine... this film is great. after watching SOLO i needed something to get me all happy about the aussie industry. its a great film, tense and funny... fantastic cinematography ... and the sound design, well.. with a title like noise it certainly lives up to its name. GO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW!!!

curse of the golden flower

after hero and then house of flying daggers it was time to return to more familiar territory for Yimou Zhang. this movie is a totally different affair than the last two. like a shakespeare play set in the china dynasty ... mix in a bit of moulin rouge-ish lavish PD and you have this film. i must admit, i was falling asleep here and there, but that was due to the fact i was full of food, warm... and in the dark. the storyline is pretty much about a messed up family with so many secrets every member will do whatever they have to to keep everyone else quiet. all the actors are great, chow yun fat & more importantly - gong li -making a great return (after being thrown around like a wet blanket in miami vice) to her roots of being a hella hot empress bitch... although there are not as many action scenes in this movie as the previous two, it makes it up for the sheer scale of the scenes... like, hundreds and hundreds or extras and all those fucking costumes... you certainly gotta hand it to them...

mad max

yeh, it seriously took me 20 years to watch this essential mother of aussie cinema. after watching happy feet a million times, i thought, oh, he has done other stuff... so anyways... the verdict... it was mixed. i guess at the time this film would have been one bad mother ... but now... i have freakin' michael bay car chases to compare to. but, for its time its pretty kick ass.. good ol' gibson does his best as MAX who in a nutshell leaves the force because the badies are killing off the cops and then he runs away with the wife, baby and a dog and then you can guess what happens to make him go back to the force... which will happen I'm guessing in no. 2!!! some of the shots in this film are pretty incredible... and the speeds at which they are going is also pretty sweet. certainly ahead of its time ... it will be interesting to see if dr. george miller gets to make part 4 after his next animated feature...

the wind will carry us

another attempt on my half to educate myself by watching movies from around the world. this little one hails from iran... with farsi spoken dialogue. (look how cultured i am!!!) a dude and his crew rock up to this tiny village in the middle of nowhere to await the death of this woman so they can document and take photos of it. they are plagued by no mobile reception and the fact that the woman is so selfish she wont die. its a pretty good... (but long-ish) film... shot very minimalistic and with non actors mostly improvising, it has some really cute and funny moments. ... i have to watch some more of Abbas Kiarostami's work ... i get the feeling there is better stuff out there... oh, and it loses points for the main character turning a turtle over on its shell.

I Aint Been Dropping No Eaves!!!

so, firstly... mothers day has gone for another year. even though i got out of it pretty easily... no presents to buy or flowers to arrange or all that shit... i did go and buy the cliche Michael Buble CD for carols mother. hmm.

i have been working a little bit here and there and over the weekend it was bloody mental. i have never seen so many Elvis/Doris Day/Erroll Flynn/copies of the notebook sold in such a short period. it's so bloody predictable.

while i was at work... i heard the following conversation which pretty much filled me with joy about the state of fatherly figures in today's modern society.

"it's going to be your fault. because you're a freakin' slow coach. your fault we don't have a present. it's your fault that tomorrow mum isn't going to be happy because we don't have anything to give her. and when she's sad and upset... it will be resting on your shoulders..."

all this was being said to a 5 YEAR OLD GIRL!!!

i couldn't believe it. i wanted to throw him from the escalator onto the cold hard cement floor of knife point shopping centre... what a jerk!!!

...

worked with the new girl at work. she loves to be already chatty and social with everyone. this made/makes me feel like a dum-dum because i am such a loser at fitting in it takes me at least 2 weeks before i can speak around a group of people i don't know because i have to figure out who is what... who's the bitch, the nice one... the loser, the fatso... all those dum categories are running through my head.... but... she's a nice girl who worked at blockbuster... but she got the job through a friend. mmm.

...

going to the movies today... all things going well i should be watching 3 movies at nova because it is cheap day!!! noise, curse of the golden flower & science of sleep ... all of which have been getting fairly good reviews so i am looking forward to it because i seriously think the last thing i saw at nova was maybe BORAT?? no... it couldn't have been. that is actually quite a distressing thought. i musta seen a movie there since then... arghhh..

...

does anyone know the name of the band that sung that shitty gay song ... "come my lady, come come my lady... you're my butterfly, sugar ... baby" if you know off the top of your head you are a genius... its been bothering me for days and i am actually just now going to look it up on the computer... CRAZY TOWN!!! of course! no prizes for that sorry...

...

lego. i put all my lego together and now i have a pretty sweetly impressive collection of 4 items. it might seem like nothing but wait until you see some pictures of my fucking chopter... man ... i'll get some tonight and whack them on here... sooooo cool. and the attention to detail is the best.

...

sorry for the lack of interesting/witty social observations of late... life has been pretty boring now that i don't have to deal with serving customers... and fuck it... just remembered i forgot to watch bastard boys on the ABC ... i sound like a nana but it actually looked like a good aussie tele-movie. over two compelling nights!!!

gotta get ready for my date with the big screen!!!

Pfeiffer! ... It's Been Too Long!!!

HE'S BAAAACK!!!

the latest artwork for the new movie "sicko" ...

he loves to never ever take off his cap!!!

Come Along ... Free Advertising

my old pal tom gant is in a band apparently... i hope he doesnt mind me putting this up!!!

MayDay! MayDay!

ok, my eyes are so freaking sore after reading or at least trying to read all of stevens last blog posts... it seems some dude is in love with typing proper shit up too... and, it's doing my head in.

ANYWAYS...

i dont like MAY. why are so many people born in may.

mothers day, sarah imax... nikita in QLD... leila ... and then bessie & tom gant...

CONGRATULATIONS to SARAH IMAX who turned 24 yesterday!

as i said in her bday sms ... "i hope being 24 is as fun as it looks on the tv show"

it seems like i am constantly buying presents with money that should be going to other places. if you are important and feel i should remember your birthday... let me know when it is. i can only go off memos/reminders/yr 12 high school diary...

nothing really new to report... highlights include

• mother calling

she actually rang me to ask if i was going to buy her a present. seriously. i dont think i have bought that woman something for at least a decade... so, apparently she wants a new nighty or the new missy higgins CD. and then after talking about how fantastic it is to live in a garage... yes, a car parking spot!!! she asks me if she should buy the gift herself and then i pay her the money... NUTTER anyone??? must be the fact that she is living in that small space with all those fumes. but i love you mummy and happy dum mums day!!!

• worked... and bought shit.

new girl. name is tara. havent met her yet. she better be cool.

21 Today

... somewhere out there is a special loser who holds a close spot to the organ that keeps me alive. yeh, if she is reading this she knows who she is... and i dont have any pictures of her but her reviews can be read on this website...

http://www.tsunamimag.com/ESKIMOJOE.htm

http://www.tsunamimag.com/HILLTOPHOODS.htm

anyways... happy birthday nikita!!!

love from me!

Water Mess...!!!

pretty coool, this is the technology that masi oka from heroes developed when he was working on the first movie... not only is he a hella cool asian actor, but a ILM tech nerd who worked on star wars, hulk, terminator 3... ANYWAYS... pirates 3 is only like 2 weeks away!!!

its gonna be hella cool. although, i said that about spiderman3...

:(

It's a Work Thing

so i went to my first work function the other night... like, drinks and stuff. i was pretty nervous at the beggining and felt like one of these women trapped in my body.


so i went to the lounge for good-bye drinks for tanya (i hardly knew her but she was a pretty cool lass - had awesome hair and was always happy) yeh, so most people went and i got all friendly and had some drinks... then played some pool. it was pretty cool to be in that environment where the manager and everyone gets along so well and makes jokes... i was also given a "sexual nickname" by nathan in games.

"buggery ben"

yeh... its pretty dum ... but pretty funny that even the managers have them as well. so, needless to say i have fitted in... or fat into my new job. one of our dvd guys got transferred to the city and we are getting a new girl who has no previous experience like i did. it will be interesting to see if she is awkward and nervous like me or if she is totally cool... i hope she is awkward otherwise i will feel like a dum dum.

What Happened in the End of UGLY BETTY???

everything was going roses... we were warm. full of fatty goodness (hot dogs made by steve) and settling in for a night of switching between the logies and of course, our pal betty.

but fate had different plans.

la la la

BOOM

THE POWER WENT OUT.

i went to see if anyone on the street had the same problem... yep. everyone. the whole street and looked like the street with the shops had lost power. even the pub had to start doing a fucking acoustic session.

after a few moments li-kim, steve and i sprang into survival mode... only minutes after watching "lost tribes" we found ourselves in a moment of terror. NO POWER!!! so, we got 3 candles and decided to just sit and "talk" ... fcuk that shit. it was too dum.

i went to my veranda to see if anyone else had lost power... but, it seemed like the city had it, and north melbourne had it. just a very specific block of kensington. and then the sirens started. 2 x fire truck, 3 x police.

almost immediately we were in "sleuth" mode ... trying to track down the reason why the power had gone off with such a loud BOOM... after "putting on proper pants" and taking a wee ... it was time to walk down the street with our candles.

after a short while we met up with lindsay and sarah chuah who were walking down from where the police were directing traffic.

"a possum" ...

yeh, apparently a possum got fried and made the whole power go out to kensington.

we wanted answers. so, in our now 2 + larger group, the rag tag band of survivors walked up the road to seek the truth. it seriously felt like a mix of "war of the worlds" and "shaun of the dead" ... everyone was in night gowns carrying torches and candles trying to figure out what happened.

we asked the police officer ... "was it really a possum?"

she sounded so fucking pissed off and just moaned "yeeeesss"

but that wasn't good enough for lindsay, who was leading the group carrying his glass of red wine. we walked further and with each step it felt more and more dum.

(but, we needed the exercise after someone ate nearly 4 hot-dogs.)

"oooh... that's gonna be one fried possum... can you smell it mum?"

it was pretty funny that even the little ones were fucking fascinated. still not believing the cover story of a possum a woman frantically approached the people in front of us...

"does anyone know how to get to the animal shelter from here...?? we found the other possum running around scared and alone..."

IT WAS ALL TRUE. A FUCKING FRIED POSSUM CAUSED CHAOS TO 10 BLOCKS OF KENSINGTON??? COME ON!!!

we slowly walked home, slighty saddened that it wasn't a major car crash or a terrorist attack... but a small possum. hmmm. life really does suck sometimes.

so... if anyone can shed some light on whether betty and the cute guy with the glasses pashed and or got it on... i would totally be appreciative.

LOUD NOISES!

so the other day steve came into work and ended up leaving with a new set of surround sound speakers... because i owe him about a million bucks i thought i would pay for them and take them off the money tree.

later that night we were whooping everything on that we could think of to test out the speakers. even though i have some in my bedroom, it was exciting because they were new and different and because we are both total loser nerds. and we enjoy making ourselves go deaf.

so if you see this in the distance...

you can almost assume it's no. 4 henry street!!!

highlights were

• king kong bug scene (they scurry & crawl everywhere)
• 24 (because it's 24)
• jurassic park

and pretty much anything we put on... like...

HAPPY FEET

oh i love this movie. i have probably watched it about 3 times in 4 days??? i'm not sure...

there are so many cooool things about this movie i don't know where to start... but it is so bloody cute. argh... the little tappings and the songs about love?? it's like a moulin rouge on ice ... but with a muted colour palette and with about 11,000+ pingu's. but... yeh, picked up an awesome bargain for $34 - happy feet & march of the penguins! go BIG W... it was pretty much an instant purchase and certainly going to get it's moneys worth.

"DONT PUSH ME COZ I'M CLOSE TO THE EDGE ... I'M TRYIN' NOT TO LOSE MY HEAD"