now, she'd been saying how shit it was going to be for some time... and the fact that i hadn't heard anything about it got me also a little worried. so, i took the v-line to geelong (which was suprisingly cheap) and met laura in the mcdonalds... reluctantly i bought a medium cheeseburger meal and it was somewhat satisfying. after a fairly average and safe drive (thanks laura) we ended up at ballarat smack on the dot of 7pm. so, we had about 20 minutes to kill after we got changed in the car into our theatre clothes.walking into the theatre holding pen i saw all the fab people that are in bessie's class and it was hug central. "PIGGY ... havent seen you in sooo long!!" etc etc ... after seeing the gang it was off to get our seats and watch the play. this big woman then walked to the stage who looked like she was a mix between that woman who bitches on about over 60's health insurance and somone who was off to the oscars. she went on about how proud she was of the play and how the kids were off to LON DON to perform the play and how it was the first time that this play had been performed in AUS TRALIA !!! i was like... WHAAAAT?
pretty impressed already. two hours later it was all over. words to describe it are...
- rich
- fabulous
- impressive
- hilarious
- amazing
- p.d (fhhhh)
and so on and so on. but seriously... it was a mixture of shakespeare and moulin rouge and 80's glam clothing... it was called "A Cat's Wit" (i tired googling for more info but nothing came up!)
being opening night there was free alcohol and food which i made sure i was a part off. lavish platters of ham and cheese and olives and so much other delights were arranged on two tables that never left my sight. anyways... two champagne's later i was off my face and needless to say stuffing in as much free ham and shit as i could.
until i picked up some turkey.
it was soooooooooooooooooooooooo awful i had to spit it out. but no bins. i wasnt going to eat it. or carry it around for the whole night. so... i did the only thing i could i guess. i just left it on the table. a HUGE chunk of meat on the table. oh man it was hilarious. a red wine later i went back to the platter to get some nice shaved ham. i took a bit. it ripped. i took some more. it ripped. i wasnt happy. i tried picking it up another way. suddenly, i have approx. 260 grams worth of ham in my fingers. it just wouldnt end. fuck. and now i couldnt just put that in my pocket for later ... or leave it on the table. so, what did piggy do? he ate right then on the spot, about 300 grams of smoked ham. i felt soooo sick. i turned around.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
there were salad wraps. hiding in the corner. oh man, i was all over that like a rash.
(im starting to realise how boring this story might be if you werent there)
anyways... another 2 red wines later i was well and truly in good spirits and kicking it back old school with bessie and laura. just like the old days. and after about 30 mins of kissing ass and telling everyone how good they were it was time to move on. across the road to a bar called "mover" or "kinder" or something with an "er" on the end. had another drink. spoke to more fab people. time flies. 2 am. BAM. time to go home and hit the gravy barn.
this was my first time out in "the rat" and this was something of an institution. basically a deep fried shop that opens at midnight and sells everything covered in gravy. fucking genius really. not to mention a gold mine. everyone wants that shit at 2 am.
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