fatty fatty boombah

well, it was eatmas day yesterday ... first of all, i will admit - i was online for some of the day - just to see what has happening ... but like the rest of melbourne, it was a ghost town! well... christmas eve finished - worked and then went to carols were i ate and ate even though it was like midnight - salads & fish & bread & cabbage stuff ... i dont know the name of any of these polish foods - but it was all sooooooooooooooo good. man, i thought asian was the way to go? nah, it seems "euro" is in. black is out.

ahahaha so, after having to put up with carol sleeping & sniffling for the night, we woke up and then had all the left-overs plus MORE that ella (carols mum) decided to make; even though there was going to be less people. good theory.

so, some more fam came over and put on "michael jacksons number one's" on the TV (nothing like a christmas dinner with MJ in the background) and then we ate and ate some more.

then it was over to sarah & li-kims house to give them some more food and to open the presents. this year i can totally say i had NO idea what i was going to be getting... even though i dont care if i get something or not... but anyways...

present number 1-

i was soooo like in shock. i mean, how nerdy can it get. a LOST action figure. incase anyone didnt know it's LOCKE - probably now my favourite character because he is all about faith and emo shit and "DON'T EVER TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN OR CAN'T DO. EVER!" it comes with a little audio box so you can play his voice over&over again. so, you can imagine what i did - i got my video camera out, lit some candles - made it look like real jungle - put on the LOST soundtrack - and filmed him from various angles. it was sooo cool - it looked so real!!! thanks to sarahK&steven for that one...

present number 2-

EXTRA'S SERIES 1&2 SCRIPTS.

"IS HE 'AVIN' A LAFF?" ohh man... thanks to carol for this. when i saw the present wrapped i was worried. i thought, hang on... doesnt she know i dont read? but i do read scripts of TV shows im obsessed with! YESSS! oh i was like in shock and the fact i kept stroking it and holding it so close to my body was a sign that carol had done well with the choice & i loved it. so, now im going to read it back to front and you will never hear me stop quoting lines from the show. just an example of how hilarious it is.

daniel radcliffe (aka harry potter) , andy & maggie are sitting in the catering van.

MAGGIE MAKES AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE

maggie: anyone want a drink?

daniel: yeah, get me a bourbon, would you babe?

maggie: well, i think it's just teas and coffees and things...

daniel: oh, yeah, then get me a cup of joe, would you? and make it strong. i dont like the weak shit. ooh.

HE CATCHES HIMSELF SWEARING AND LOOKS AROUND TO SEE IF HIS MUM HAS HEARD.

daniel: (conspiratorial) look, when she get's back, right, make some excuse and leave us alone, will you?

andy: what you got planned?

DANIEL PULLS OUT A CONDOM FROM HIS TOP POCKET, ALREADY UNWRAPPED. HE HOLDS IT UP.

andy: you've unravelled it.

daniel: ready for action. (he stretches it like a rubber band) just hope it's big enough.

THE CONDOM FLYS INTO THE AIR. DANIEL TURNS AROUND AND SEARCHES THE BUS FOR IT. IT HAS LANDED ON DAME DIANA RIGG'S FOREHEAD. LIKE A KID ASKING FOR HIS BALL BACK:

daniel: erm, can i have my Johnny back?

dame diana rigg: (correcting him) may i have my Johnny back.

daniel: may i have my Johnny back?

dame diana rigg: please.

daniel: yeah.

dame diana rigg: it's not called a Johnny though is it?

daniel: durex.

dame diana rigg: no, that's a brand name. may i have back my prophylactic or sheath?

daniel: may i have my prophaleck...

dame diana rigg: (correcting his pronounciation) ... tic

daniel: tic, prophylactic. Can i have it back please?

dame diana rigg: yes. (daniel takes back the condom and turns away) excuse me. haven't you forgotten something?

daniel: oh, thank you, dame diana.

DANIEL BEGINS TO PUT THE CONDOM BACK IN HIS POCKET.

andy: still going to use it, yeah?

daniel: yeah, that'll be fine.

andy: lucky girl.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

it's effing hilarious and it was an excellent day. finished it off with watching "die hard" for the first time ... nothing like a traditional christmas movie!

xoxoxo

thanks to all and happy holidays! love ben

p.s - coming soon - my top ten films of 2006